conclusion

trust me, it's paradise. this is where the hungry come to feed. for mine is a generation that circles the globe and searches for something we haven't tried before. so never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. and if it hurts, you know what? it's probably worth it.
- richard

where there is a monkey there is a lizard. i hope richard and hunter would be proud. for the last seven months i have been on the other side of the world. my ceiling was your floor. these notes are my testament. the notebook my aunt peggy gave me is completely filled up. its pages are frayed and marked, a little like its owner. i have travelled by plane, train, boat, motorcycle, tuk-tuck, truck, camel, elephant. you name it. 17 flights alone. i have travelled to australia, burma, china, hong kong, japan, loas, new zealand, and thailand. i have survived cold showers and shaves, nights in airports and train stations, ants, bed bugs, cock roaches, mozzies, sharks and spiders.

and i've loved every minute of it. i've had a great travel companion. this world is a beautiful place, and its smaller than you think. see enough of it, and any place on a map can start to feel like home.

thanks for reading, thanks for the emails, and thanks to the people who travelled and blogged before me and inspired me. this trip has long been a dream for me, and now that it is over, i am lost as to what the next one will be. i'd like to think that on our same flight home maybe a guy from hong kong is just starting his trip in canada. maybe it's his dream. i'd like that.

last helicopter out of the embassy. yes, i have scars.

i'm spinning and you're spinning
the world's spinning and we're laughing
and i'm charming, the devil's charming
and we're ruined but we're still building
and i'm selling and you're counting
the world's stopping but we keep going
and we're ruthless and we're cunning
and i'm heir to it all
- matthew good

koh phi-phi v1.1

trust me, it's paradise.

we finally made it to the beach. it seemed like a climax to our trip - the end of the pilgrimage. our mecca, koh phi-phi ley, is beautiful. we took a boat from koh phi-phi don pier, and stopped on the way at monkey beach. as you can guess there were monkeys, white monkeys, and as borat says "careful, they bite." we safely waded in the surf while fruit was thrown to them. back in the boat we travelled on to phi-phi ley, and once there, sea kayaked into a lagoon protected by limestone cliffs. it was so quiet. we snuck out kayak into a small canyon that ran between the rocks. we just floated in there and looked up at the above jungle and cliffs. back at the boat again it was time to get to business. everyone knows of the beach - one of my favourite novels and movies. influences from it can be found all over these pages. maya beach, on phi-phi ley, was used as the setting of the tropical paradise in the film. after the film was released tourism skyrocketed to the national park. our guide told us that as you cannot stay overnight on the island there are men with guns who guard it. tourists attempting to float in under the cover of darkness to camp or create a new society are challenged in thai. when they cannot answer the guards open fire. a not so "urban" legend perhaps, but who is going to challenge it? even i, a huge beach fan who thought of sneaking there to stay, had no intention of walking into a bay of pigs. wanting to approach the beach from the water and then move inland, like richard, etienne, and francois did, lyds and i asked to be dropped off in the sea on the opposite side of the island. we jumped into the sea, sunglasses and all, totally stoked. we had just watched the movie the night before at dinner. after our swim we made the cliffs that surround the island, and navigated through them by rope. the surf made it challenging as you were spun about against the rocks with the waves. once we passed under the rocks we were suddenly on the island with soft jungle underfoot. we were so excited, even though there were no dope field guards or waterfalls to challenge us. we bantered dialogue from the movie between us. we had made it. something we had dreamed about was occurring. it was real.

though a clearing in the overgrowth you could see the blue water. maya bay. the beach. paradise. we burst onto the beach at a full run and took it all in. the beautiful sand underfoot, the towering limestone cliffs that protect the bay, the clear, aqua blue water. after the initial giddiness we plunged into the warm water and played about. the bay was surprising shallow, with a soft sand bottom that allowed you to walk out forever. later when our boat had travelled around the island to pick us up, lyds came up with the idea to swim out to it. so that is what we did. we swam out to the boat while the sun set in front of us. the blue of the water, the cliffs of white limestone and green tropical growth, and the beach behind us. the best swim of my life.

on the boat ride home we were both locked on the fading colours of the sun. to me the sunset was like a religious zealot with an end is near sign. our trip was ending, and we both sat there and appreciated the moment, each other, and all of the things we have been blessed to see. we didn't even really need to talk. we were both thinking the same thing. seeing the beach was the last thing we had to do. after the beach there was no more.

boat to phuket yesterday. flight to samui today. flight to hong kong tomorrow.

trust me. it's paradise.

i packed my case, i checked my face,
i look a little bit older,
i look a little bit colder.
with one deep breath, and one big step,
i move a little bit closer.
i caught my stride, i flew in flight,
i know if destiny's kind i've got the rest on my mind.
- the killers

koh phi-phi v1.0

que moby's track porcelain. 40km offshore from krabi, 2 limestone islands shoot out from the sea in noppharat thara national park. despite both islands being protected, only the smaller island, koh phi-phi leh, remains untouched. koh phi-phi don, the larger and more accessible of the two, was the number one tourist destination in the andaman sea before the 2004 tsunami. the loss of life and property was staggering. footage and pictures seem unreal, especially with the way the now placid blue water gently swells against the limestone cliffs. the rebuilding on the island continues, unchecked, and the rumor is that park officials do not dare set foot on the island for fear of being attacked by village chiefs and bungalow developers profiting from tourism.

even with the construction the island has some semblance of the untouched paradise lyds and i seem to search for. for how long this remains is anyone's guess, as it is quickly becoming everyone's favourite destination again. i think it hit lyds hard that even here, after a tsunami swept the island clean, there is no untouched paradise. i think that is what we both have been searching for, and it simply does not exist anymore. we are too late, wearing velcro in a world of laces. there are, at least, no roads on the island. restaurants show the movie the beach every night, and profiteering thais hook up play station 2s so games can play from underneath palms.

the sunset i saw off ao lo dalem was surreal, made more spectacular from the tide moving out. the remaining pockets of water in the sand left by the retracting sea reflected the colour. the colours were so vivid and clear that my eyes flit about with too much to focus on. it was sensory overload; an injection of what i have been searching for. we have spent the last two days on the same beach, reading and snoozing amongst the cliffs and sea - mainlining our fill of beach life.

like richard i have been thinking a lot about daffy. he's close now. and sal, and bugs. year zero. time to start improving my night vision. we visit the beach tomorrow.

phuket v1.1

from an open window above us a bunch of women call out to me as i pass. a little ego massage for my day - even if it is the only massage i get from these girls. as you walk along the sidewalks have a patong beach logo in them. it is like newly developing hollywood squares, where you watch you feet to miss the garbage and pools of water.

it is odd the weather we have had for our second tour of duty. on the gulf side it rained almost everyday. now that we are on the other coast, where it is the monsoon season and rain is expected, we have had a great week of sun. yesterday we sat on the beach again and watched pyramid clouds roll over us. we both read through rain wrapped in towels under an umbrella. last night was also our last time to swim in the resort pool. lyds and i will miss the luxury of this place, but with every minute i stay at this resort i grow weaker and lazier, and charlie grows stronger crouching in the bush. before you know it i would be putting my hand through our large bathroom mirror.

in our elevator the other day a lizard dropped from the ceiling. you probably heard lydia's scream all the way back home.

dodging bullets, or at least uv rays.

phuket v1.0

big day of travel. we took the night boat again, to surat thani. all these night boats make me feel like a cuban pitcher fleeing for miami and a waiting yankee scout. fredo got out on a boat too. hyman roth didn't. a bunch of us gathered on the boat by our sleeping mats to trade backpacking stories and tips. with the six of us we had been on every continent, including antarctica; from a civil war dodger in the ivory coast to tsunami volunteers coming back to help again. it was another sleepless night in the stuffy hull. the fan above our heads didn't work, and we were right by the lone exposed light bulb hanging from the ceiling. with my tshirt blanketing my eyes i did manage to almost sleep, until something crawled into my pant leg and started making its way north. put this together with the slowest bus ride in history, and a bunch of shady taxis trying to rip you off while your vulnerable from sleep deprivation. it did, however, allow me to finish my book on the company (cia), and start the account of a reporter with the underground empire of drug trafficking and the role of governments in this economy.

i guess that is how it is sometimes, and more often than not, is here. to get to the "pearl of the south" you have to break a lot of oysters. note on phuket: its is where the colours and money are - being thailand's largest, wealthiest, most populous and most visited province. the island is described by guidebooks as being southeast asia's st. tropeza, miami beach and rio. as i have never been to any of those i will have to take their word on it. i know it only as phuket - rich on developments and lights. it is a place of survival. in the last 7 years they have had a bomb threat, bird flu, sars, an earthquake and a tsunami. too many idle tourist hands i suppose. it had come from being the trading centre for arab, indian, malay, chinese and portugese traders. tin and rubber have become knockoff accessories and replica soccer jerseys.

once we arrived we set up shop in a posh resort on patong beach right on the ocean. how you might ask? through the generosity of lydia's parents. everything is top drawer. massive suite and bathroom. no cockroaches. a shower so hot you have to turn it down. at night the sun sets right across from our resort. lyds and i try to make it to the roof each day to see the sky turn a brilliant orange and then a dark, pinky-red. as the sun goes down you can turn away from the ocean to look backwards at the surrounding hills. these too appear orange, almost as if they are glowing from a forest fire. patong beach is the centre of the island with countless expensive resorts and seafood restaurants, souvenir shops, dive shops and bars.

by day we do as little as possible, though lyds has been going for morning runs before it gets too hot. we lounge under big umbrellas on the beach, or recline poolside at our resort. we shop. laze around watching satellite tv when the heat drives us inside. shoo taxi drivers and tailors away to go and read somewhere. at night we get our kicks walking through the neon girlie bar area of patong with its wall to wall clubs and bars. in the florescent glow street urchins promote shows involving ping pong balls and bananas. women dressed like brit in baby one more time dance on bars. lyds keeps a tight hold on my hand as we head to the night markets.

while calling home the other night and talking to my dad and tranny groped my junk while asking if i wanted a "maaaa-sage." jc must be universal as he/she backed off. kind of a conversation killer as i lost my train of thought with the call. the next time i called from a phone booth. adaptation. darwinism at its finest.

and i dance
and i sing
and i'm just a monkey in a long line of kings.
i'm just a boat on the ocean
i'm just a ship lost at sea.
- matthew good

almost time to stop hunting rabbits and come home.

koh tao v1.2

objective: burma! lyds and i needed to make a visa run in order to avoid any fines or possible jail time when exiting thailand on the 28th. that being said we decided to make a run for the burmese (myanmar) border. it was a quick op - in and out with new stamps in a matter of hours.

the specifics came as we went. we had booked passage on a night boat that was to ferry us to chumpon. as we tried to get to the dock there were no taxis. so we adapted our plans. i "bought" our passage to the pier in the back of a guy's water truck. the ship itself reminded me of the ship indiana escaped from with the cross of cornada. the rough waters kept us up all night in our metal and wooden bunks. while the rocking was comforting, the sound of the ship slamming back down into the swell was not. bang! bang! bang! i remembered guggenheim telling people he was going to drown on schedule and forgoing a life jacket on the titanic. on this ship, and on thai time, i was hoping indy would remember me with the cross when he swung off.

once on dry land at chumpon we were met by our driver. this gentleman could have taken the pole at indianapolis. no one could have gotten more out of the car. our ride was a blur of fatigue and motion sickness. any time i would pry my eyes open i would find our car in the wrong lane passing some "slow moving" vehicle with oncoming traffic. i never found out what happened to that cyclist. at ranong, the thai border, we were passed through immigration and then sent back out to the parking lot. it was confusing that our passports had been stamped that we had "exited" thailand, however, we had only exited the immigration building. from here we jumped on a boat and crossed into burma at kaw thaung. as soon as we got off the boat we were swarmed with locals trying to sell us drugs. the immigration people were actually very friendly, and after a quick photo we were back on the boat without even passing through the barbed wire. as we left i looked at the sign thanking me for my co-operation in helping to rid the republic of myanmar from narcotic drugs.

back in thailand we went back to the same immigration office for a new thai visa. the officer warned me there would be no more to come, and as he stamped my visa he filled out that i had left the country by swimming (method of transportation). then back in our rally car to catch a bus connection and then a catamaran back to koh tao.

another stamp in the passport. objective completed. in and out in minutes. if you don't look look quickly and i'll be gone again.

koh tao v1.1

back to the world of bubbles. it is quiet under the water. you sink to the bottom with only your breathing in your ears. in and out, in and out. sometimes the bubbles brush your face. you float around like an astronaut taking a stroll outside the space station. all i need is brad pitt to shave my head and tell me i'm a space monkey sent to save the planet.

lyds and i left hat sai ri for the remoteness of the southern end of the island. it was here, under the eyes of buddha, that we completed the second stage of our scuba certification. with the course came more skills work, theory and homework, and another 9 dives to add to our logs. but we were already pros who had cut our teeth at the great barrier. slipping under the waves again felt as familiar as it did in australia. on our first dive at chumpon pinnacle, we hovered at 18m. directly below us, about 12m down, three 2m long gray reef sharks circled. with the magnification that comes with being under the water they looked even larger - massively powerful torpedoes cutting a circle in the sand. as we moved on we were able to hover over a lion fish with all of its spikes extended, a fish which had eluded us before on the great barrier. the next day we went back to the pinnacle and went down to 30m to get "narc'd." now at their level, we also went looking for the same torpedoes we had only viewed from above the day before. just as we were ready to head for the surface, and with poor visibility, a lone shark came out of the blur and circled our group. lyds and i followed him as he swam away. then he turned and passed right through our group to once again disappear in the dark. that night we went on another night dive at the japanese gardens. the dive was made challenging by poor visibility, and inept guide, and equipment problems. just as i had learned with oscar in australia, i brought a half empty water bottle down with me in my bcd. in the dark with only my torch i brought it out to try and attract more sharp toothed monsters. picture it: exceptionally quiet, your breathing in your ears, in and out - accentuated like darth vader. the bottle comes out as you swim on your back looking at your fins and the dark. the torch illuminates a narrow beam of visibility. the bottle is in your hands. could you use it? i would not have been able to before i left for this trip. but no amount of coaxing could produce the shining eyes to fly by our group. near the end of our dive lyds and i turned off our torches and played with the bioluminescence amongst the squids. it was our own private party. sparks flew off our hands as we danced. later when the guide lost the group i took control of the confusion and the dive and brought us to the surface safely.

the other dives were all memorable as well. some of the noteworthy events included diving the narrow caves of laem thien, playing with the moray eels at white rock, and swimming into a giant school of barracuda at aow luek.

space monkey out.

koh tao v1.0

the full moon party is in the rear view mirror now. with my bungalow's hammock i leave the heroics of the lonesome dove cattle drive and caesar's conquests of briton and gaul.

the journey to tao from pha ngan was trying, and as it would turn out a long 58kms. our ferry, half way between the two islands encountered engine trouble and was forced to return. 2 hours later lyds and i were sitting in a leaking shelter on the same pier we had left that morning. then a new boat was procured. our confidence and good humour was shaken. 4 hours after we had originally left pha ngan we moored at koh tao. note on the island: tao, at 5,000 people and 21 kms squared, is the new place to be, and has become what koh pha ngan was and samui before that. commercialism has just started to choke the fishermen and the coconut farmers. tourism is next. so the rural people better smarten up because its going to be a/c and isdl from now on baby. in 1983 there was one bungalow operation on the island. today there are over 100. soon we'll be looking for a new island.

but enough on this. our rocky voyage was just the start of our issues. we had no reservations, and lyds, usually a straight 6 in this department, couldn't find a place as she wandered hat sai ri. i felt like vito corleone in the godfather just arrived to ellis island. all i needed was for them to change my name. as luck would have it i managed to secure a dodgy place above a travel agent. our "bathroom" was a disaster. the door frame to enter it was about 5 feet high. more than a few bangs were accompanied by some colourful language that may still hang in the room. who knows? maybe i was once in the navy. the "sink" had no drain pipe. the water came out of the faucet and down the drain to fall out on the floor. we cut out the middleman. it was a new experience for me brush my teeth and spit directly on the floor.

the next day we jack-in-the-boxed it out of there. somehow amongst all the full moon party refugees i got us a bungalow right on the beach. now we could begin to relax. a local stray dog, whom lyds named harvey would sleep on our porch and follow us around. of course lyds adopted it. he was rewarded with pancake dinners. by the end of our visit he was answering to harvey. pavlov might have been a better name.

in hat sai ri days of sleeping late, watching movies and reading on the porch during the daily afternoon showers. new addition to my c.v. under skills - cockroach killer. i swear one of them was the andré roussimoff of cockroaches. weapon of choice? the flip flop. nights on the beach are what we expected thailand to be. the tide rolls the beach right up. restaurants and bars place tables right at where the water ebbs back into the gulf. tiki torches and fire pits dug in the sand provide the light. the waves roll right up to your feet in the candle light, the paper lanterns flicker and crinkle in the breeze.

god i am happy there are no sights to see here. you feel less guilty just twisting around waiting for the next magical night.

koh pha ngan v1.2

lazying around. the days blur together in the heat and sand. days are divided into units of massages, meals, movies, naps, and time in the hammock.

lyds has been more productive and has completed a thai cooking course. i showed up to her "graduation" to sample her degree. she passed all right. and learned the dishes i like best!

today we felt especially adventuresome and so caught a songtao to thong sala, and then another to ban chalok lam on the northern coast of the island. from here we took a water taxi to hat khuat (bottle beach), a beach that can only be reached by boat. it was a new place to sit in the shade and read, the sand sticking to our bodies from the heat. as time came to head back to haad rin, i brokered a deal that saw us cruise home on a boat. the trip allowed us to see half the coastline on the island, and its countless cliffs and palm trees.

haad rin has become a ghost town. the full moon party is over for this month, and as such, the backpackers have emptied out and moved on. it will become busy again when the next lunar cycle nears completion. we too are joining the movement, geographically not politically, and have booked tickets to koh tao for tomorrow.

koh pha ngan v1.1

full moon party! the most famous beach party in the world. This month, lady luck had it to be the 20th anniversary of the original full moon party. it did not disappoint. by the time lyds and i hit the sunrise beach at 9pm thousands of ravers had already gathered. the beach, which we had eaten lunch on several times, had been transformed into a lurid, pulsing mass of dancers in florescent body paint. massive stages and mobile bars and clubs had been set up right on the sand. from the encircling speakers different trance, house and techno music blasted. the music seemed to melt together into one, non-stop beat. there was an immense energy in the air - like the oxygen had been replaced with a red bull gas. random fireworks shooting up from the sand to explode and crackle over the beach. fire jugglers hypnotising the masses with their fluid flames in the darkness. boats anchored as spectators in the harbour. ravers passed out on the sand, tripping in the surf, or freeing it with no clothes on. lyds with the lights in her hair had become a neon pocahontas. i was feeling capital sipping from my bucket (child's sand pail filled with red bull and alcohol). at times the full moon peaked out from the cloud cover to illuminate the madness below. by midnight the scene was even more frenzied, packed and chemical. but the dancers remained peaceful and jovial in their partying. as the night was getting twisted i thought what would hunter do? no shirt and aviators was the response. people danced across sections of the sand set on fire. a random girl grabbed my nipple and then disappeared into her laughing friends. random thais offered me pills, ecstasy and cocaine. a sign of burning rope declared, to anyone who did not yet realize it, that they had reached the full moon party on koh pha ngan. We were more than lurid enough to know. It felt right to be on that beach at that moment, like it must feel to dodge the bulls at pampalona. another experience.

we left the beach just before 3am. the party was still going strong, and would be till 10am or so. in the surf a lone neon dancer, facing away from the noise and lights of the beach, danced tirelessly while staring into the black gulf of thailand.